Reprimands may be necessary, but they should be accompanied by alternatives. Instead of simply prohibiting an action, suggest another way of doing it. For example, « walking instead of running » gives the child a constructive solution to their behavior.
4. Present options
Giving children the illusion of choice can make them more cooperative. Offer them limited options so they feel involved in the decision. For example, ask, « Do you want to choose your clothes or would you prefer me to do it? » This helps them feel more empowered while still respecting the boundaries set.
5. Blame the behavior, not the child
It’s important to distinguish between the child’s behavior and the child’s personality. Avoid value judgments like « you’re bad » and instead use behavior-specific criticism, such as « what you did wasn’t right. » This preserves the child’s self-esteem while correcting their actions.
6. Control your emotions
When faced with a difficult situation, it is essential to remain calm before reacting. A calm parent is better able to handle the situation constructively and set a good example for their child.
7. Communicate expectations clearly
Make it clear what you expect from your child. Rather than simply shouting their name to get their attention, give specific instructions like « give me your hand to cross the road » or « in the library, we speak quietly. » This helps your child understand exactly what you expect of them.
Conclusion
Saying « no » to your children constructively is essential for their learning and development. By setting clear limits, explaining the reasons for prohibitions, and offering alternatives, parents can help their children grow up in a structured and secure environment. These techniques also foster independence and responsibility in children, while maintaining a positive and respectful parent-child relationship.
